matter

dealing with 3 small boys, i try to teach them so many things: to be honest, to be fair, to form their own opinions about books, movies, songs, etc, to be happy and that their happiness shouldn't come at another's expense. the high school girls i "hang with" i've begged them not to make the same mistakes i've made, like letting a boy come between them and their dreams and their friendships and doing stupid things for no reason at all. my early 20 girlfriends ask me how i got married so young and if i would do it all over again. and my friends who are my age, seemingly, are trying to secure our places in life and to live with all the choices we've made and stand by them and be happy with them. a few of my friends are making huge changes in their lives reinventing who they are and what they want. i've been fortunate to be surrounded by all of these people. and i'm so thankful for every person who has been in my life.

i think about the world now, the world in 30 years, and the world without me one day. i think about how important every single person on this earth has been. the ones who were dishonest, unfair, judgmental, sad, and abusive have been just as instrumental in molding people as the ones who were their opposite. without the struggle, would we be complacent with freedom and without hatred, would we take love for granted? would our lives be different shades of apathy? without abuse and violence, would we really ever recognize how strong we are? without disease and death and cancer, would we realize how precious our season in this place has been?  and really, what makes one thing a weed, and another a beautiful flower?

despite religious promises of heaven, nirvana etc, i think that somewhere in all of us there is a question of why we're here and if we made a difference. would the world be the same had we not existed. i believe the answers are: i don't know, yes, and no. i truly believe we are all special. and we are all necessary and all part of one another. and when some one is gone, they're never really gone. and it would be good for all of us to appreciate one another and tell people how important they are to us. because we're all important. we all matter.

valentine's day delivery

jake's school decided to make valentines for a local nursing home today and i totally enjoyed working in the school. they were so excited about making cards and gluing on heart and applying stickers. it's funny because some one donated kinda inappropriate stickers for a nursing home -- stickers that said, "super sexy," "call me," "gonna get it," and so on. so the 6th graders and i got it and thought it was hilarious, the 3rd graders on down just had fun putting pretty stickers on.

we went to the senior center after school to deliver the valentines and BOY was it a roller coaster of emotions. we started off with the memory care center. the first couple wyatt approached politely declined getting a card. when our staff rep told tried to explain that kids had decorated these cards for them, the wife got irate. she started loudly saying, "I DON'T WANT A VALENTINE. I KNOW MY RIGHTS. IT'S STILL A FREE COUNTRY." it was tough. i wanted to break down. i almost turned around to leave.

but, we trudged on and thankfully, that was the only negative encounter. every other person was so excited to see kids and get handed a card. we started going door to door and i was surprised that the staff was able to just walk right into the rooms at their leisure -- i mean, what if the resident was naked or using the restroom???

so grayson was the hit because he was the youngest and was completely uninhibited. his first question was always, "what are you watching?" or "why does this room smell like mints?" that got a laugh.

i think it was wonderful for all the kids -- from the 6th graders who thought it would be like a sorority for the elderly to the 1st grader who was thrilled that they were bowling on the wii -- i wouldn't take that hour back for anything.

UNstressin me OUT

So the Yahoo article today was about reducing stress, which we all know by now will let us live longer and prevent us from looking like dried up, wrinkled, gray prunes. The list was good: carry a bandaid in your wallet, buy stamps in bulk, yadda yadda... so I got the idea on how to keep others stress free. Some of these are real, and some are just a laugh. Either way, you're reducing stress just by reading this. 


1. Make a friend dinner for no reason.
2. Don't take your children grocery shopping (this helps you and others)
3. Take a friend to a dance class.
4. Make love (again, this is good for you and your partner)
5. Never call people after 9pm or before 8am if you don't know their sleep schedule
6. If you know a friend has a large To Do list, take something off of it if you can
7. Find a neat coloring book and color
8. Never ask a good friend to babysit the Boeker boys -- that's a job for healthy teenagers
9. Don't let a friend be bored. Boredom is worse than stress.
10. Clean your house with a friend. Some times it's fun to clean together, so do their house first and then yours!




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