Kids are so dumb it's cute

As if Christmas time isn't jam packed with enough things, Wyatt recently learned that December 6th is St. Nicholas Day. Never heard of it. Apparently you leave a shoe out with straw, hay, and hair inside. While you are sleeping, St. Nicholas comes in and removes these treasures and replaces them with cookies and candy.
When did I learn about St. Nicholas day? December 6th at 8pm. "Oh wait! Mom, do you have some straw and hay? And can we cut a little bit of your hair?" he asks. "WHAAAAT? No, lay down." 
"But it's St. Nicholas day! I forgot. I have to leave hay and hair in my shoe so I can get cookies and candy."
"Of course you do. Where did you hear about this?" I ask. Duh. School. "Ok, I'll take care of it, goodnight."
"Use my Nikes they smell less awful." Not really.
Jason's in Denver and I have neither cookies nor candy. Nor straw nor hay. Ice cream sandwiches from Schwann's? Garage freezer. SCORE! A whole box of the Schwanns chocolate chip cookies. Done. It's a  Christmas miracle and everyone wakes up happy. 

NOOOOO! Rather Sweet Bakery closed for remodeling???

Sometimes things happen for a reason. You don't know why they're happening at the time, but in hindsight, you see the larger picture and realize the universe is really taking care of you.

Our crisis began at 11am December 3rd in Fredericksburg, TX. We were there to celebrate my mom's 60th birthday and our stomachs were pulling us to our favorite bakery, Rather Sweet, for lunch. No, we didn't need to eat at 11, we just needed to see it, breathe it in, and fantasize of what was waiting for us at the end of our shopping excursion.

What waited for us on that little corner on Main St., however, was not just disappointment. It was rage. Fury. Despair. And finally, hopelessness. Deflated, we meandered from shop to shop. Menus in windows mocked us. They teased us. "Ha ha, you can't have what you really want! You pathetic fools."

A third of our party decided to try a burger joint, but as we were entering, something caught Larz's eye... "Free Yogurt." "Hang tight," he said, "it says they have sandwiches next door." We gave him heck, but he said we were going to try it (like it or not) so the boys could get some yogurt.

We ordered our sandwiches with no hopes of anything beyond biting into disgust. But, Oh snap. My veggi sandwich was yum. Add a little swim in the tomato bisque and it was heaven. Gray ordered potato soup of all things and it was seriously fantastic. Everyone agreed that their food exceeded excellent, and then it was time for yogurt. Imagine a yogurt bar like your Cultive or whatnot. Free Dec. 3rd for some reason AND 2 free toppings. I had the EuroTart with raspberries and strawberries and it was the best yogurt I've had, bar none. THANK YOU SWEET MARLEY'S for saving the day. From then on, we could shop happily. Turned around our whole day. BONUS: the back room has games etc. for kids and the courtyard has a play area. No wine served, but you bet it's my new fave.

2011 Christmas shoot

Jenn Culak did it again! She took some great pics of the boys for Christmas cards. Yes, it's the ONLY time I have their picture made and she does a nice job getting them to do whatever she wants! Maybe it's the promise of the cookies at the end?

PSYCHOpath test

To some degree, I'm sure we are all mad, but I'm not entirely certain that to some degree, we are all sane. I was (probably) one of the very few who enjoyed The Men Who Stare at Goats, and was equally intrigued with The Psychopath Test. Who doesn't love to read about psychotic criminals and what fuels their actions? And how do you spot a fake from a legit? There's a neat and tidy checklist to determine if one is or is not a psychopath. Who knew?

Ronson (via interviews of actual professionals on the subject) visits the past and present research and treatment options for sociopaths and psychopaths. You read, are appalled, do some research on google, see that the institutions, patients, doctors really do exist, rinse, and repeat. The interactions with the scientologists piqued my interest, but I really don't care to explore that any further than taking it for comic relief. Jump to your own conclusions if you will, but when he introduces the idea that most of the major blood-sucking corporations are run by psychopaths, I tend to disagree slightly. I'm just not sure there is anyone qualified to pronounce "sanity."

I'm intentionally being as namby-pamby as Ronson because this was just a gateway book to madness. What's next? Political Ponerology of course! For a good criminal psycho movie, watch Tom Hardy as Charlie Bronson in Bronson. WOW is it good.

Grayson is NOT a lesbian

The other night, I hear Jake upstairs calling Grayson a name, and I almost can't believe what I'm hearing. So, I go up the stairs to get a better listen, and sure enough, I hear, "Grayson, stop being such a lesbian!"

After I stop laughing, I ask Jake if he knows what the word means and he, of course, says, "Nope, not really." I tell him and his face gets completely red. He turns to G and says, "OK Grayson, you're not really a lesbian." Thanks, Jake, for clearing that up.

a lil wine review... and a lil recipe

one of jason's subcontractors gave us a wine basket for christmas and the Dry Comal Creek Sauvignon Blanc came with a jar of jalapenos. a few months ago i went on a limo wine tour in comfort and one of the vineyards (don't remember the name and it was terrible) also offered a wine and jalapeno pairing. it was neat. kinda quirky.  i think this is definitely something unique to texas because the 8 years we lived in CA, i'd never heard of such a thing :)  getting back on track, i cracked the wine tonight, but not the jalapenos. maybe i should have, because the wine is not impressing me. it does have some spiciness to it, which i'm not opposed to, but the overall flavor is just not quite right.

so i decided to try it with the peppers and there is a vast improvement. i had some homemade tomatillo "salsa" leftover from making enchiladas (recipe below) and made some nachos with queso fresco. it actually compliments the wine quite nicely!

12 tomatillos
8 plum tomatoes
2 jalapenos
2 serrano peppers
4 cloves garlic
1 bunch cilantro
1 onion
1 bay leaf
small pinch of fresh oregano
a dash of cumin, salt, and pepper

broil half the ingredients for about 20 minutes (minus the bay leaf and cilantro). boil the other half in about 3 cups of water (add the bay leaf, still no cilantro) until the oven ingredients are ready, or the tomatoes are soft and the tomatillos are pale. remove the bay leaf and add the broiled ingredients. remove from heat and add the cilantro. blend in batches and then re-heat on medium for about 15 minutes until it thickens slightly.

it's great for enchiladas or for dipping!

2011, so far

well, we ate our cabbage and black-eyed peas on new years, but apparently this year they did not do the trick. monday morning, back to school. the boys get up, get dressed. surprisingly smooth morning. we even have time to brush teeth, something we've been known to forego in order to get on the bus in time (only once or twice). so, i tell the boys to run upstairs and brush while i get backpacks set to go.

few seconds later, i hear crying. nothing unusual. but then i hear, "MOM, wyatt has blood coming out of his head." not the words you really want to hear. ever. so i run upstairs and, indeed, blood is coming out of wyatt's forehead. in fact, there is a small hole there, deep enough to see some really disgusting stuff.

quick trip to the hospital. a little tube of glue and $100 later (so far, thanks to STUPID blue cross insurance and their surprise bills that come two months later),  he's pretty much as good as new, just a little uglier.

so this morning, i say, "wyatt, do we dare brush our teeth before school today? if so, here are the rules: no running, pushing, tripping, falling, or trips to the hospital, OK?" he agrees, goes upstairs, returns and, with a very proud smile, says, "i did it mom." and puts up a hand to high five.

Veronica

We're driving to piano and Wyatt asks, "Are we going to celebrate Veronica this year?"

"HUH?"

"Veronica. It's where you get Christmas presents for 9 whole days. My friend Lara celebrates Veronica and she knows every single word in Spanish."

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Jake's what if

I had to pick Jake up from school early because he had an earache. We were driving home and he says, "Mom, wouldn't it be cool if Jesus came to Earth for Christmas... and he went to each person's house and talked to them for a little while?" And I say, "Yep, pretty sweet. What would you talk to him about?" In a Tommy Chong voice (either really thoughtful or a total stoner), he answers, "I'd be like, hey Jesus, Happy Birthday man."

Majestic

I went to the Vince Vaughn/Kevin James comedy show last night and was completely blown away. Yes, all the comedians were hilarious, but the Majestic theater was just incredible. We had good seats, but I can't imagine there being a bad one in the whole house. The place is beautiful and majestic, just as the name implies.

One of the comedians joked that he felt like he was in Narnia and was spot on - it is like a fantasyland. Staying true to its surroundings, it's like a Spanish mission on LSD. "Ornate" isn't fancy enough to describe  its luscious architecture and design. And to add to the awesomeness, they allow you to take your beverage to your seat to keep you company. Well done San Antonio!!! I will be back.

Oh, and by the way, Steve Byrne was one of the funniest shows I've ever seen. I was crying so hard I couldn't see and laughing so hard I missed half of what he said. NEVER pass up a chance to hang out with that dude.

what i learned at spec's today

first, they will be opening a spec's at the RIM!!! no date set, but that's better than trekking to the 1604 & 35. it's supposed to rival the houston spec's that has a deli, chocolate section, etc.

second, spain is your man if you like the affordable reds. you pick up a $12 bottle and it's likely aged 12 years, much of that time in oak. also, if you're thinking about trying the $9 bottle, splurge on his big brother for $3 more. it may be called the "reserve" or "gran reserve," but it's worth it in most cases.

and finally, the cheese at spec's rocks. i picked up a nice honey goat cheese and an incredible triple cream brie. CAN'T WAIT!!!

Laundry finds

The items I've found in the washer or dryer this week:

1. A blue car from the game of Life
2. $10.35 (only $4 was in actual dollars, the rest was change)
3. 19 silly bands
4. a green bakugan and a red bakugan
5. several unidentified wads of paper
6. 2 ShinerBock beer tops
7. 7 lego men
8. about a dozen legos
9. a key i've never seen before
10. 4 crazy bones
11. 1 marble
12. 2 fake mustaches

things i've recently caught myself saying

1. hurry up and get your waffle off the floor or the dogs are gonna eat it. then you'll have to go to school hungry.

2. yes, you have to take a shower. even if you did take one yesterday.

3. boys, i'm sorry, but the dogs ate some of your Captain Underpants book.

4. i had half a banana on the counter and it's gone. who ate it? (no one fesses up) open your mouthes - i want to smell your breath.

5. why are you wearing my underwear grayson?  and take the bra off right now. (after he got out of the shower)

6. who let the dogs out? who who who who who? (i can never help myself on that one)

7. if we don't clip your nails, your piano teacher is going to turn me in to CPS.

8.  who's been playing with my eyeliner?

9. no, i will not do sharpie sleeve tattoos. those are reserved for summertime.

10. we do not do "popcorn for dinner" on a school night!

10 reasons i love my pawpaw

 my grandparents came to visit this weekend (along with my dad and brother) and my grandpa makes me laugh so hard. here are 10 reasons i just love the heck outta him:

1. jake put some silly bands on his wrist and he acted like they were the best gift he ever received. he could tell you exactly what each shape was and was super proud to wear them. he's still wearing them now.
2. he calls all the boys "geronimo"
3. he calls the dogs "geronimo"
4.  he drank his first margarita with a quickness and then just kinda kept sucking on the straw like, "hey, i'm empty here." finished the second before i finished my first!
5. he calls merlot, "muuur-low" with major emphasis on the "muuuur."
6. he told me to "punch my dad in the kidney for him" when my dad was being a smart ass.
7. he has the same running shoes as jason and says he "wears them to the mailbox"
8.  he said the waiter was looking for a "swift knife to the throat" when he put the salsa in front of my dad instead of him.
9. he thought the tooth fairy gypped wyatt with the $2 bill she left, so he put $12 more under his pillow!
10. he adores me!

Blasphemeese

i know maltese are supposed to have long, beautiful white hair, but it just didn't seem to fit ben. plus, he kept rolling around in the grass getting shi-poo nuggets stuck in, so, i shaved him. hey, it's hot right now. plus, he looks like his girlfriend zoey now! here are the before and afters!

oh wyatt

i had already gotten into my jammies when i realized we had to return a movie to redbox.  jake said, "mom, we'll put the movie in, you don't even have to get out of the car!" so, i lazily decided to stay in my jammies. you think you know the ending to this. but you don't.

so we arrive, and the boys hop out. there is a man renting a video, so they have to wait. it's taking a while and i see that wyatt says something to the man. he smiles and then full out laughs. he says something to them as he's leaving and smiles again. i thought i knew what wyatt said, but i guess i didn't.

so the boys get back into the car and i ask what they said to the man at the station. wyatt apparently asked the man, "is the machine out of WAX or something?" i laughed so hard i was crying. i'll admit i was still a little emotional from seeing the movie Adam (a very cute movie), but he repeated it about 3 times. "mom, it's like the machine wouldn't give him his movie. it was just out of WAX!"

i've already decided that wyatt's first band will need a name some day and i'll save the day by recommending that they call themselves "out of wax."

Things my kids said today

Wyatt: Mom, my nails are all dry because I know a trick. I whistle on them. (Yes, we had manicures and pedicures today. Our colors? Black, green, cammo, and blue. Wyatt wanted black and blue in honor of the miike snow song)

Me: Jake, maybe you should be a magazine model so you can pay for college.
Jake: Maybe. But I don't want to wear dresses.

Grayson: Mom, stop kissing me for like 50 minutes. I want to play without you putting slobber all over me.

Wyatt: Any time you want to go somewhere, it shouldn't be because you want the toy they have there. It should be because you like the food there.

At piano lessons, their teacher has a 6 month old. She has an open floor plan and has a high chair, play pen, bouncy chair, swing, and play mat in the big room. Sooo...
Jake: Whoa, this lady must have a ton of babies!

Grayson: Mom, when Zoey poops, where is her toilet paster? (toilet paper)

Wyatt: When we go to Austin tomorrow, will we still be in Texas or Boston? Is it near Boston?

Wyatt: I think I saw dad's car. Nope, it was a squirrel.

10 most biz-arrrrgh (weirdest) movies of all time (or at least the movies I've seen)

Jason came home from work with a movie "suggestion" for me, meaning it was one of "my type" of movies, meaning "weird." Enough quotations? Yeah, I'm sick of them to so let's get to it. These are in no particular "order  :" (had to do it one last time, sorry)

1. TITUS (it gets caps because I'm currently trying to get it)
2. Mullholand Drive (not bad weird, just weird)
3. The Box (stupid weird)
4. District 9 (whaaaa? )
5. A Clockwork Orange (notably weird, but smart weird)
6. Barton Fink (i get it, but still just weird)
7. Elevator Movie (awfullllly weird)
8. Cold Souls (soul-fully weird)
9. Ink (beautifully and deeply weird)
1o. The Cremaster Cyle (if I missed that one, I'd be remiss)

f-ing white iphone

yeah i said the f word. that shows you how mad i am. about a week ago, my ORIGINAL (not 3g not 3gs) quit working. ok ok, it was my own fault. i happened to introduce it to a little more H2O than cellular telephones allow for and have, thus, been without cellular technology for that time period.

i had ordered the 4 and then cancelled the order. not for the "antenna" problems but because i thought i was in for a wild ride on my monthly bill. i smile that i am grandfathered in by the old iphone policy, but the new one, frankly, sucks and i wonder why anyone would pay such a high monthly bill. to be honest, i'm not really taking advantage of AT&T by any means, myself.

i digress. the elusive white iphone. the moby dick of the cellulars. are you a myth? do you really exist? we heard you were going to be available in the second half of july. then the end of july. if you DO exist, call me.-- Ishmael.

fredericksburg, tx

we took the 45 minute drive up to frederickburg, tx to try out the "napa" of texas. i don't know what i was expecting, but the first stop (the Fredericksburg Winery) wasn't quite it. it was a storefront in the middle of town, the wine was incredibly sweet, and our "guide" was hilarious -- he named his daughter Chardonnay after all. the first thing he did was insult california wine makers, so he didn't start off well.  choose 6 wines to taste for free and $5 for their "premiums..." which were no better than the others. i didn't care for any of the wines they offer, but the crew that works there is very nice and the winemaker talks faster than any human being i've met.

we did enjoy d'vine wine. maybe it was just a nice change of pace, but we took several bottles home as gifts. the pourer recommended a sandwich shop across the street called Rather Sweet: Bakery and Cafe. boy, i could have kissed her. i've dreamed about going back since we left (and we're going there this weekend)!

i had a tomato, basil, and mozzarella sandwich (on fresh, homemade bread) that was just incredible, with a side of tomato basil soup. overkill? no WAY. the sandwich dipped into the soup was pure heaven. i can still taste it right now as i'm writing this. i had a glass of Becker's Iconoclast to compliment my lunch and could have repeated the whole meal for dinner. jason had the BLAT and said it was delicious, but i'll have to take his word for it, because he didn't offer me a bite!

there are several neat stores in town. i came away with a very cute amber butterfly ring and we were most impressed by the granite furniture store.

we ended the trip with Becker Vineyards. this was a little more of what i was expecting. the lavender smelled wonderful and the wine was good. I am a fan of the Iconoclast for a great, under $10 bottle. in all, it was a fantastic day and i can't wait to go back.