Laundry finds

The items I've found in the washer or dryer this week:

1. A blue car from the game of Life
2. $10.35 (only $4 was in actual dollars, the rest was change)
3. 19 silly bands
4. a green bakugan and a red bakugan
5. several unidentified wads of paper
6. 2 ShinerBock beer tops
7. 7 lego men
8. about a dozen legos
9. a key i've never seen before
10. 4 crazy bones
11. 1 marble
12. 2 fake mustaches

things i've recently caught myself saying

1. hurry up and get your waffle off the floor or the dogs are gonna eat it. then you'll have to go to school hungry.

2. yes, you have to take a shower. even if you did take one yesterday.

3. boys, i'm sorry, but the dogs ate some of your Captain Underpants book.

4. i had half a banana on the counter and it's gone. who ate it? (no one fesses up) open your mouthes - i want to smell your breath.

5. why are you wearing my underwear grayson?  and take the bra off right now. (after he got out of the shower)

6. who let the dogs out? who who who who who? (i can never help myself on that one)

7. if we don't clip your nails, your piano teacher is going to turn me in to CPS.

8.  who's been playing with my eyeliner?

9. no, i will not do sharpie sleeve tattoos. those are reserved for summertime.

10. we do not do "popcorn for dinner" on a school night!